Children's Mental Health Week 2021- A Parent's Perspective
It’s Children’s Mental Health week and I have been speaking to Sarah, one of the parents that we work with at Brightsparks, to get her perspective on how the pandemic has impacted on her family and their children’s mental health. Here is what she had to say;
“As the parent of two young children: aged 4 and 6, I think it’s fair to say that our whole family, including my husband and children, has found this current lockdown especially difficult, and a lot more challenging than the previous two lockdowns. Both our daughters are of school age, so we find ourselves in the position of homeschooling two children, whilst both my husband and I work from home. To say that this situation has put a strain on us all, would be a huge understatement. In the first lockdown there was a sense of camaraderie and a strong belief that we were united as a country in making short-term sacrifices for the greater good. This time, it feels different. The days are darker and colder and it can at times feel like we will be forever stuck in a perpetual state of uncertainty, with no end in sight. I don’t think anyone could have imagined in March last year, that less than 10 months later, we would be in yet another national lockdown.”
I think this perspective resonates with many of the parents who are attending our Positive Futures Parenting Support course at the moment. There is a sense that whatever resilience children, young people and parents had in terms of managing their mental health and emotional wellbeing it has been significantly challenged as the months have gone by. Recent research by Place 2 Be tells us what most people already know, the lockdowns have impacted on children in a range of ways.
Children have had their world’s turned upside down - schools are closed to the majority, out of school clubs and activities have been cancelled, and children are missing their friends and extended family immensely. Many parents and carers are also dealing with their own uncertainties and anxieties at this time. All of this can have a huge impact on the wellbeing of ourselves and the children in our care. Therefore, finding strategies and self care tips that the whole family can easily access to help manage stress and promote good mental health is essential.
We asked Sarah what types of strategies she had found helped her to support her children during this difficult period. Here are her my top tips for enhancing the whole family's wellbeing:
Get adequate sleep. This sounds obvious but as a parent I know I often stay up later than I should to try and get some ‘me time’. However, you will feel so much better equipped to handle your own emotions and those of your children, after a good night’s sleep. It’s equally as important that children get enough sleep too, so it’s a good idea to encourage them to stick to a regular bedtime routine if you can.
Exercise. Again, sounds obvious, but I know first hand how much better I feel after I’ve exercised. My family has recently started the couch to 5km training programme as a way to get more exercise together. I have been concerned that my children haven’t been getting enough exercise lately, so finding exercise that we can do as a family has been great. We’ve also recently bought some pop up football goals and these have provided hours of entertainment for the whole family!
Connecting with others. Obviously we can’t do this in person at the moment, however, making time each day to connect to another person, is absolutely vital. This can be done via telephone, text message, or video call. My 6 year old daughter likes to use the Messenger app on my mobile phone to contact her friends on their parent’s phone. At first my daughter found it difficult and uncomfortable during standard video calls, but the Messenger app has some fun filters and games that my daughter can play with her friends, and this has really got them communicating better and having fun.
Breathing exercises. I have been practicing yoga regularly for over 10 years now and when i’m feeling anxious I often return to the breathing exercises that I have learned. The simplest and most effective breathing technique that I use during times of stress is: breathe in through the nose for 2 counts, breathe out through the mouth for 4 counts. My daughters are practicing this too - it really helps for them to close their eyes and put their hands on their tummy so that they can really focus on the breath.
Some really great suggestions from Sarah there. At Brightsparks we have developed some more tips and resources for parents wanting to know more about improving resilience in Children and Young People which parents might find useful. We also have a blog called How To Talk To Your Children About The Coronavirus (Covid-19) which might help parents to navigate conversations with children and young people about how they are feeling right now.
There are lots of wonderful support services available - so if you need further support, please don’t hesitate to ask for it. Here is a list of some great online and telephone support services:
NHS Every Mind Matters - mental health advice for all
Childline - the mental health charity for children and young people - the free helpline is 0800 1111
Stem4 - promotes positive mental health in teenagers
Samaritans- mental health support for all - the free helpline is 116 123
Place2Be offers a free text messaging service for anyone in the UK, Text CONNECT to 85258. Available 24/7.
Please do not be afraid to ask for help for yourself or a family member. These are exceptionally difficult times and there is absolutely no shame in seeking help.
What to do if I’m worried about a child or young person in my care
If their life is in immediate danger, call 999.
If not, we recommend talking to someone who can help you understand what they might be going through and refer you to support in your area.
This could be:
Your GP
The Young Minds Parents Helpline, which you can call for free on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am-4pm, Monday-Friday, UK).
One of the other online support services listed above.
Finally I’d like to thank Sarah for her story and suggestions.
Written by Katie Simpson- Director of Learning at Brightsparks CIC